Return from Retreat

My return from the blogging world has been a little slow as my return from my retreat thrust me back into the beautiful reality I call life.  I came home after spending the weekend trying not to think of home and the possible scenarios that could have been occurring, and after keeping myself from picking up the phone and calling to see how things were going.  I wanted to know, but I knew it would be better for all of us if I didn't throw things off for the family at home, either.

Well, it turns out the retreat was great - truly blessed with the promptings of the Holy Spirit and the companionship of my friend Kim and the treat of seeing our friend Holly on Friday night.  I'm not one who has deep, stirring feelings brought on through prayer or meditation (it's hard to shut up my thoughts long enough to actually say that I've meditated on even one prayer or verse), and this was one thing I wanted to explore.  I don't have the answers to that inquiry, but my friends Kim and Krissy are helping me sort through the possible obstacles to a deeper, more feeling relationship with Our Lord and Mother Mary.  I'll keep you updated on any progress, but it may be slow going.  I have a feeling the greatest thing that needs to change in order for me to have a deeper spiritual life requires that I work MUCH harder on stopping the everyday tasks to make time for the prayer, solitude, and reading that will bring me closer to heaven.

I have a few goals that I am starting out with after my retreat in order to help bring more emotional peace (these last two weeks have been stressful and ones of high-emotion, likely very much due to the baby growing within me!) and endurance to my life.  My goals include (not in any order):

1. Working to give some one-on-one time with each child daily, even if it is just a few minutes of Mommy time.
2. Really working on a relationship with Mary through sharing my everyday tasks, frustrations, and joys with her and looking to her for inspiration, following her example, and growing in love with Jesus through her.
3. Reading Scripture or Saintly writings each day - in hopes of better memorizing the Scriptures and getting the spiritual nourishment I know I need.
4. Being more selective about the times of day during which I do work-work, in hopes of being less stressed about work and avoiding guilt over not being with my kids when I feel they need and/or want me.
5. Attempting to gain better focus while praying, especially when praying the Rosary, and having the will and making the opportunity to pray the Rosary more often.

Well, I guess in looking it over, it's a whammer of a list.  Looks like a lot more goals than five, but at least it tells me that I am moving in the right direction.  It's going to be at a snail's pace, though, I can tell.  I haven't prayed the Rosary since I've been home, I neglected spiritual reading the last two days, and while I have been doing well with the others, I still see lots of room to improve in those areas, too.

Aside from all that, I do want to share with you the happy, funny side of my retreat - especially the notes of what my lovely family did while I was gone.  First, though, I have to share with you the Murphy's Law of my planning...before I left on retreat I made a quick run to the grocery store to pick up extra food for the family.  I made a casserole and a fruit salad, and had completed all the laundry in the house, save a few clothes not worth running a load for.  I packed my bags, got the kids and their sunglasses, the wipes and a spare diaper for Luke, and put us all in the car.  About 5 minutes before reaching the meeting spot where my husband and I would swap vehicles and care of the kids, I realized I had left one thing out:  I forgot to put my bag in the car.

Although a little teary through my laughter at myself while recounting this deed to Kim, our friend Holly, and my husband, I made the best of it and had fun buying a new shirt, contact solution, and a pack of underwear at the local WalMart.  Holly loaned me some other clothes to get me through the weekend and I am so grateful at how it turned out!  Going to Mass wearing jeans both days was a humbling experience as I knew that I could very well be judged on my lack of proper mass attire, as I shamefully have done to others, even though it was through circumstance that I had no dressy clothes to wear.  In case you're wondering: the hotel gave me a cheap toothbrush with bristles that fell out as I brushed, but a very nice travel sized Colgate toothpaste.  Oral hygiene - check!

Meanwhile, while I nourished my soul my family was busy, too.  Paul built a fire pit in our backyard, which is beautiful!  And, the greatest of all surprises - besides the fact that they all had fun, no one really missed me, and Paul wasn't at all overwhelmed or stressed like we both feared he would be - took place when Kassia told me she had something to show me outside.  For weeks we have been working with her to help her independently ride a two-wheeled bicycle.  It was slow going at best, and I knew that her surprise had something to do with this.  My expectation was to see her Daddy push her off on the bike and watch her pedal and balance on her own for 10 feet or so.  Lo and behold, the dear got on her bike, started on her own, pedaled down the alley behind our house, made a big turn around and came back!  (She apparently knows how to stop herself, too, but I didn't see it as a big gust of wind actually knocked her and the bike over on her return ride.)  I am so proud of my family!  I am so thankful that they didn't really need me last weekend.

To make a long recounting short, it was a great time for all of us and I am so grateful!  Thank you all, so very much, for all of your prayers for us!  God bless you!!!