The last trimester

Depending on how you count pregnancy progression - by weeks or months - I am pretty much just into or almost into the last trimester.  It's exciting and a little daunting.  Here's why:

I haven't had to put on support hose for my vericose veins.  That's exciting.  However, I have 3 months to go...daunting.

I've felt less morning sickness throughout this pregnancy than all others - very exciting and I am so thankful.  However, I feel like I entered the exhausted nearing-the-end phase much, much earlier.  Not fun. Plus, I am still not quite looking totally pregnant (unless I am wearing clothes that scream "maternity") but I am starting to feel like I am walking around with a medicine ball attached to my abdomen.  So I look uncomfortable and large-bellied.

I am excited that God's timing has this baby's expected arrival ending right around Christmastime.  Perfect for a homeschooling mother.  But, I am feeling so tired now that I am not sure how efficient of a teacher I can be.  Mostly that's just self-doubt and exhaustion talking, so I am trying to let it go and not think about it!

My biggest trial is what I am dealing with right now - entering the time of pregnancy when I, for the safety of the little one, wean off my antidepressant medication, and spend 3 months trying not to be an emotional and tired person day in and day out.  The fact that the seasons are changing and that the natural light we get each day is lessening quickly is also daunting.  I've always been greatly affected by the quantity of natural light - especially sunlight - and entering this phase of the pregnancy with those sunny long days diminishing is a little scary.  Depression sucks, and it feels harder to deal with when you've got less helping you through it.  At the same time, this time is a beautiful gift I can give to my baby, and I am confident that I know myself well enough to hop back on the meds if I truly need it.  I get emotional, but not stupid.  :-)

In the meantime, I plan on getting to bed a better time on a more regular basis, eating a bit better (that's a hard one, so I'll be realistic), and exercise more to get that natural serotonin boosted.  I'm also happy to offer up my struggles as prayers for you all and your intentions - having something like that to focus on, besides just waiting for the baby to be born - is a blessing to me during this time.

And here is a picture of me at about 5 1/2 months, courtesy of either Kassia or Nadia, who both wanted to take pictures of me the other day and I'm not sure who was behind the camera for this shot.