Teething makes me sad

My baby is teething.  Really teething.  As in, 5 teeth in the last 3 weeks.

Ordinarily, I love teething because it means my kids can more foods.  But usually my children are late teethers, so by the time enough teeth come to really chew foods, they are over 1 and I am tired of serving softer or smashed foods.

James is one of a kind, though.  He wants to do everything early, including filling his mouth with teeth.  He now has 8 teeth, though 2 are still moving upward.  This means a greater variety of foods and a smile that makes him look so much older!

His growing up is bittersweet by itself, but now it is also sad in a different way.  He is on a nursing strike.

I love nursing my babies.  There is nothing like it in the world, and I treasure it.  That is not to say that I enjoy being a human pacifier to my children.  That part was always rather restricting. :-)  Not being able to leave for more than about 2 hours gets difficult after awhile.  But even with that in mind, I still love nursing my babies.

A nursing strike is not new to me.  Kassia did it at 11 months when we took away the pacifier.  She retaliated by refusing me.  When Nadia was about 11 months, she started getting teeth (like her first ones - not the 3rd-8th ones like James is doing at 10 1/2 months) and would bite me.  After some terrifyingly painful experiences, I decided it was time to end nursing with her as she drank out of a cup very well.

James is learning how to drink out of an open cup (I much prefer this to sippy cups) and he uses a water bottle with a valve that is flexible.  So he is familiar with drinking and biting on things.  When he started this teething marathon, he then started biting me.  And I don't think I'd wish his biting on my worst enemies.  As with the other children, I said to him sternly, "No bite!"  And it shocked him and he crumpled up his cute face and cried.  This happened a few times and now he refuses to nurse without biting.  And once he bites, he then lets go and refuses to go back to nursing.  He tries to sit up and turns his head and cries.

Now things are getting, shall we say, uncomfortable for me.  I try to nurse him and don't respond when he bites me.  I just encourage him when he is actually drinking and sucking instead of biting.  But he still ends up turning away.  I'm afraid that he's ending it and I'm sad that it might be because I reacted so strongly when he initially started biting, and I'm sad because I'm just not ready to wean him.

So I'm feeling a little sorry for myself, not because my chest is hurting with the pressure of milk that he doesn't want, but because I might have unknowingly prompted his rejection.  And I'm sad because I love to nurse my babies.  And, less so than the other reasons, I am also sad because if he stops now I have to make a decision - switch early to cow's milk, or start pumping.

We're going on a vacation in a few weeks and I was really counting on having food with us wherever we go thanks to the beauty of nursing.  Now I'll have to bring a pump, or express manually if I don't want that extra luggage, or plan to rely on other snacks more.

As I think this through, I think he's really started showing that he's growing up and doesn't want to be a baby anymore.  His first unaided step will be any day now, he loves to eat grown-up foods and usually refuses to be fed with a spoon, preferring to self-feed with his fists.

Crawling on whatever or whomever is in his way is a favorite pastime of his.

 

Oh, my baby's growing up and there is nothing I can do about it!!!

Edited to add:
I called my mom to tell her about it and I could tell she wasn't sounding as sad as I...so I asked her, "Are you trying not to laugh?" and she said, "Well,...yeah, as you were telling me about it I was thinking, 'Way to go, James!'"

Apparently I just need to grow up about like James is doing!  :-)