Simplicity is one of those things I am continually grasping for but rarely find myself within reach. Lately it's become more obvious to me that I do not have time to continue to pursue my interests while meeting my responsibilities without hindering both in terms of time, quality, and/or attention.
I've encountered this issue before; it's not new to me. It just seems like I can't quite seem to put and keep my life in balance.
Between caring for the kids, the home, my hubby, myself, my prayer life, teaching, and working, and pursuing my hobbies, I find myself exhausted at the end of the day and still feeling like I've hardly accomplished a thing.
One of my problems is feeling like I need to see tangible proof of an accomplishment completed but, as we know, that is not always possible. After all, I can have great quality time with my kids today, but I'm not necessarily going to have anything concrete to show for it at the end of the day. This is an issue that I have to work on within myself. I know in my mind that time well spent doesn't necessarily leave one with anything to show for it. But I still feel like I haven't done much if I don't have something to prove it. It's a little crazy, I know.
Beyond my OCD tendencies, it is true that I have a lot on my plate. And the plate is lopsided. Yes, I don't feel like I have enough "me" time, but what of the other responsibilities? They aren't exactly abundant in available time, either.
I know something needs to change. At the end of the day, I'm mentally wiped out and dreading while, at the same time, focused on the things I have yet to do. And I don't have much motivation at the beginning of the day for much of anything, save crossing the things of my to-do list. This isn't a good example of a life well-lived.
As I was pondering this the last few weeks, I wasn't coming up with much at first. This was mostly because I didn't have the time or a good environment in which to really think and pray about it. (Don't get me wrong, my home is a great place, but it's kind of hard to pray and find focus amidst the laundry, dishes, questions, bickering, reminders of children "starving!", and so on!) I had the best of intentions to really come up with a way to make my life more balanced, but that task was just another thing that got caught up by the swift pace of life. Not much time was available to it.
But then yesterday I was remembering how I once used to be on Facebook. I liked it well enough, but I quickly realized that I wasted a lot of my time on it. While it was neat to catch up and keep in touch with people in a new way, I found myself spending time on Facebook instead of on the things that were priorities. Since I had the blog, email, and a phone, I knew that if people wanted to keep in touch with me, they very well could in those ways. I didn't need Facebook and it wasn't serving me well. Those reasons made it easy for me to drop it completely.
Thinking about that made me really analyze what I am using my time for these days. I've been spending less time blogging, though I still have the habit of writing blog posts in my mind. :-) As much as it saddens me, I do believe it's probably best that I limit the time I spend on the blog. I don't need to do all the sewing projects, either, when I have other projects left unfinished (like the 1st year scrapbooks that need to be made for Luke and Sophia). These are just a few of the "extracurriculars" in my life that I think I really need to examine. Is the time I spend on it worth the time I don't have for other things? Probably not.
Don't get me wrong, I know I need to have hobbies and outlets for myself. I NEED that. But I want to be sure that I am not being selfish by putting that need over another need more pressing, such as time well-spent with the kids.
It's really hard to think about adjusting my schedule to fit my priorities, mostly because it's so.darn.hard to implement! And upon further thought, I am thinking maybe God is allowing me to wear myself out because He knows how much I really need to learn self-discipline. That's what it's all about. Facebook and sewing and blogging and all that are great hobbies and are even therapeutic. But they aren't true priorities (unless they provide needed income for the family, for example).
What about you? How have you found simplicity in your life? How have you learned to or are learning to balance it all?
I was reading through your list... it is a lot that a mother has to accomplish in one day! Or a week... You do have a full plate, Katie. And I admire you for keeping it all balanced as well as you do, while I know it is a challenge for you. And how easy it is to let it all get out of balance! I also find blogger takes up a lot of time... time I don't necessarily have... and keeps me from doing other, likely more important things. Similarly with sewing and other projects.
ReplyDeleteA couple thoughts about environment and finding peace: either make a prayer corner in your home, or leave home, perhaps either when Paul is home or your mother-in-law is home and go to a church to pray in front of Jesus... or even better, both. Find 5 min each morning, and do something similar to what you're trying to do when you're on the phone... kids can't interrupt, though maybe they can join you quietly in prayer. Or make the times you get up with Sophia (assuming she's still waking you up) times of true quiet prayer. I remind myself before doing this that everything else will fall away; the only thing that will remain is God (ok, and our children's and husband's souls, but I don't mention it then because otherwise I permit myself to think about them) and concentrate on God alone - sometimes easier than others. Pick the same day or two each week to leave and pray at church for 30 min. It's time out from other things you could be doing, but it is true that our days go more smoothly and are more meaningful when we take some time with Jesus.
So, this might sound totally random, but you might find it useful. Are you familiar with the Duggars? The family with the 19 kids on TLC? Well, anyway, they have a system for organization that they use designed by a Christian husband and wife called "Managers of their Homes." I bought it actually when I was working in a house with people with disabilities, to help me structure my day - and it really helped! Here's the address:
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